I have been fucked over so many times that nowadays, I do not have the heart to give a damn about anyone. My heart used to be filled with happiness, love and joy but now, my heart is filled with empty spaces. I feel nothing in my heart and if I do feel something, that  feeling will be so faint that sooner or later, it will disappear. All my so called “friends” are not my friends. I only have only one or two people to turn to when it comes to feelings or situations that needs to be let out. All the guys I have ever fallen head over heels for have turned away from me. Some of them hated me for no reason at all and others have said things about me to make things hard on me. I dealt with all the pain I ever went through by telling myself that I am okay and by keeping a smile on my face but I had to lie to myself so much that now, I do not even know how I really feel about someone or something anymore. Yes, I will continue to smile and laugh but I will not love anyone at all nor will I ever try to be friends with someone who are not my so called “friends”. The way I live my life nowadays is by minding my own business, doing what I have to do and taking  care of my family. That is all that matters to me and quite frankly, I am happy with it. My life is good at the moment and I enjoy it.